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Thursday July 3rd and Friday July 4th - Ministerial Session
Ministerial session has been a blast (not really)! We’ve been trying a different format, sitting in a horseshoe in order to listen to Peter Stephens – a sort of fresh expression of Conference if you will. Of course, the usual stuff was in place. A technological failure meant we had the spectacle of Methodists ministers mouthing enthusiastically, and pretending to know the words of ‘And are we yet alive?’ Once again the god of the powerpoint was angry with the people called Methodists …
Three ministers from marginalised places in the church had been invited by the President to give what should have been his address to the Ministerial Session. The forces chaplain got his powerpoint to work but unwittingly (perhaps) left us with a scene from Dad’s Army that seemed to sum up our options in the current climate. It was supposed to demonstrate something about army chaplains – but reminded certain members of the Conference at any rate of how we might react to our current difficulties. ‘We’re all doomed from the start’ is, of course, often the default setting in our churches, so there were no surprises there. It was followed closely by the ‘Don’t Panic!’ school – a welcome antidote to a previous President’s ‘missiology of a headless chicken’ espoused at an earlier Ministerial Session.
Less clear however is the theological interpretation of the Mainwairing School – summed up in three words: ‘You stupid boy!’ Is this perhaps reflected in the oft time wearisome responses of our esteemed General Secretary to interjections from the floor of the Conference? But what are its wider implications? Hectoring for the Kingdom?
The highlight for this writer of the second session of Thursday was news from the Cuban Conference, the ‘fastest growing Methodist Church in the world’ (fact unverified). The secret of their success? In the Castro revolution, the churches were shut and the ministers fled to Florida. It has been suggested that revival in British Methodism might begin by sacking all the ministers and closing all the buildings. Trouble is, we’d probably sack all the clergy but keep all the buildings …
Friday has been, on the whole, a more reflective day. More navel-gazing, more talk of definitions of ministry rather than its practice, more interventions by the noble Professor from Cornwall. As I write, we are about to head into the Communion Service with the Deacons, sure to be a good affair.
Monday 7th July
Rainbow Live!
As we enjoy the ‘Rainbow’ Theme on display in the Conference main hall we are delighted at the modern, youthful, imaginative approach to advertising Conference on display outside the SPA Centre, inviting all to come on in and enjoy the delights of our annual Methodist Gathering.
A beautifully colourful set of posters, sure to entice the casual passer by:
“Bungle, Zippy & George invite you to a new theatre Show ‘RAINBOW LIVE – fun for all the family, starring DJ Superstar Zippy!”
Whilst we think the Marketing department`s nickname of ‘Bungle’ for the President is rather harsh (he hasn’t made that many mistakes so far), we absolutely delight in that offered to the new Vice President – ‘DJ Superstar Zippy’. Having revealed today his penchant for weed, he is clearly seeking to make the hip youth culture of today a main target for his year in office.
Am I Alone?
Having heard a conference delegate this morning bemoan the church’s apparent habit of ‘freezing right wing evangelicals out of positions of power in the church’, I have wandered around Scarborough in a state of dazed amazement. Is this really the perception of the evangelical wing of the church and if so how has it been arrived at? Certainly the evidence of this is not apparent.
On the contrary, over the years I have heard radical / liberal thinkers constantly told by the church that they won’t be appointed in order to protect the sensibilities of those in the church with more evangelical views.
We can’t all be right.
The same delegate then went on to say that the liberal elite should find a new form of more accepting liberalism – in other words accepting their views. Well here’s the rub... there are some things I personally can’t accept. Am I alone?
• I will tolerate anything other than intolerance. I don’t care how it’s wrapped up, or what lines from the Bible are used to justify it I will not tolerate intolerance.
• I won’t judge anyone who isn’t judgemental.
• I will welcome anyone who doesn’t exclude.
If you feel excluded by any of these criteria then, quite frankly, tough! I can’t help that you feel excluded – that’s your choice. In my perception of the Kingdom, no one gets in at the expense of someone else. Only God can decide who stays or goes and when that happens I’ll choose which group of people I’d rather stay with.
Also from Monday 7th July
Lots of fun at the Conference on Monday! Nothing quite as momentous as the news from the Church of England’s General Synod meeting down the road (since when did the Anglicans become more radical than us!?) So whilst the Anglicans were making history, what were the Methodists up to?
Sex doesn’t often crop up in the Methodist Church – well, we’re all too tired these days! But when it does, it’s always exciting but leaves us feeling a little guilty and resolved not to do it again for a very long time. I suspect Conference is waking up this morning with a think head and those feelings of regret. The debate of the Resolutions Formerly Known As Derby (RFKAD) came early on in the agenda and revealed how divided and how sanguine we have become. A tour de force speech from a demob-happy Co-ordinating Sec was a rare moment of clarity and honesty in our midst. Most of us were still reeling from that when a long-time opponent of anything homosexual slipped in and finally conceded that we’ve reached an uneasy truce. We’re not revisiting the RFKAD but left reflecting on the final words of Jabez Bunting: ‘Who won the Derby?’
Team Focus (neither a team nor terribly focussed) made its final appearance (fat chance!) Readers will be glad to know that, after this Conference, we now have a complete plan for the arrangement of the deckchairs! Oh yes, and an intimate anatomy of our collective navel. In terms of employment law and good pastoral care of those who work for us, not our finest moment …
And for a brief moment in the late afternoon, we looked outward. Of course, in order to do that, we needed to lock the doors and meet in Closed Session. In the end, though, the Methodist people stood with the people of Zimbabwe and with all those who are supporting them. Readers may not be aware that Conference are trying to buy a truck for the Methodist Church in Zimbabwe – there is a rumour that a Notice of Motion is about to be tabled that will suggest a certain Professor from Cornwall be commissioned to drive it!